Still

We ended up bad. We didn't get to talk to each other to make everything clear and formal.

We met through the net. Chatted a few times. We communicated for, say around... 2-3 weeks.

I never expected someone like him to "waste" time with someone like me. I mean for me he was so ideal. God, my dream guy if I were to say so. I tried not to get too attached to him but when he said that he liked me, though I knew that it sounded very shallow and empty that got me right on the spot. I told him right from the start that I liked him and he did say so in return that he also felt the same way. At first, I tried to restrain myself in making him feel that I was fallin'. Tried to keep everything from subtlety but we were seeing each other more often and eventually I fell for it, which became my greatest regret.

Po0of!!! He disappeared. Gone without a word. I knew that he wasn't a "text-person" but for crying out loud, I think I deserve an explaination. He could've explained himself through text. He could've told me what happened to him, why he wasn't able to send me a word for a week. And then, the next thing I knew was that he was fixing things with his ex. Crap!!!... I cursed him.

We chatted back lately and I told him that, he should've said things in the first place. Told me straight to my face that he was fixing things up with his ex that would've been fine with. I'll let go. But leaving me in the middle of everything, bewildered and wondering what happened was not cool at all.

So, I moved on with everything mixed-up in my head. I wasn't good at all, believe me. Left in ripped-apart and in shattered pieces. Funny thing, is that I still pass by the place where he works out. Still bikes around the village where he stays. Still spends time walkin' around the mall hoping I'd get to see and talk to him. And still goes on line hoping he'd send me a buzz. Well, I guess he still has me cause after all what happened, he can still manage to turn my head around whenever he passes by.

ciao ^^,